Jordan Belfort: It's a joke! $26,000 worth of sides? Mark Hanna : It's his first day on Wall Street. Come on. Jordan Belfort: Twenty fucking years! One day, you will do it right. It's wonderful. the success of scorsese's wolf of wall street is that it's enjoyable to watch and it shouldnt be. I mean, we had similar interests and shit. You're gonna give me a pass? Money doesn't just buy you a better life - better food, better cars, better pussy - it also makes you a better person. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. Naomi Lapaglia: I fucked up so bad. Of course, after the bachelor party, me, the Duke, needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage. Does that ring a bell? Not Italy. Donnie Azoff: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Quotes Showing all 117 items Jordan Belfort : Let me tell you something. Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by becoming rich. I did a lot of bad shit. But it wasn't a poisonous silence. Do you jerk off? What kind of person are you? You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. That's right, out of all the Swiss bankers in Miami, it had to be him! Money talks and bullshit takes the bus. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. Jordy, one of these days the chickens are gonna come home to roost. Oh my God! [voice over] Robbie Feinberg, the Pinhead, took five years to finish high school. Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Good morning, daddy. I wanna be with the fuckin' Oompa Loompas! Even more fucked, is that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me. Jordan Belfort: The Wolf of Wall Street has many lessons to learn from and brings to light something very real and raw in society, how even those with the best of intentions can fall prey to negative influences. Jordan Belfort: And to anyone who thinks theres anything glamorous about being known as a Wolf of Wall Street. Nobody - and I don't care if you're Warren Buffet or if you're Jimmy Buffet - nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in circles. Let me tell you something else. What, you wanna go inside and blow some lines of baking powder, baking soda? Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. Good! Fuck you! [to Naomi] Mark Hanna: Cinemark Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: You're never gonna see the kids again! I don't wanna die, Jordan! Jordan Belfort: You had to deal with the gold course people, too! Just hold on tight. What the fuck are you talking about? Then look no further. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: And you know something else, Daddy? Jordan Belfort: If you don't do it, the stress of this job, it'll make you explode. You got a minute? Oh, hey. Give him time. California, baby! Jordan Belfort: I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Or worse yet, I've seen this happen, implode. Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Feel free to reach out and connect. They cure cancer? I was born too - too early. I fucked her brains out for eleven seconds. Watch. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Naomi Lapaglia: Every time! Jordan Belfort, When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. Jordan Belfort, I believe in total immersion, if you want to be rich, you have to program your mind to be rich. About a month later, Donnie and I decided to double team her on a Saturday afternoon while our wives were out shopping for Christmas presents. Biography, Know Your Critic: Clint Worthington, Founder of The Spool and Senior Writer at Consequence. Fun coupons! Dad, we had clients, Pfizer clients. Naomi Lapaglia: They don't give a shit about money. Don't you fucking Duchess me! Jordan Belfort: So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you don't let him do that 'cause that would make it real. [raves at Brad] Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn't even graduate. You wanna fuck me, Jordan? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Quotes By Jordan Belfort. Your hair looks good. Yeah, I jerk off. Hi, how you doing? [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] But we were making more money than we knew what do with. If you have persistence, you will come out ahead of most people. Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run. She's already got C-cups, but now she wants FUCKIN' DOUBLE D'S! Sides? Don't you fucking dare! $4,000? I fucked up! She's the best. Now that I'm under federal indictment with an electronic bracelet around my ankle, now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. No, I don't wanna implode, sir. Out of respect. Jordan Belfort: Without you, they're just worthless hunks of plastic. Brad: Jordan Belfort: Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. Get away from the window! That's that's okay, that doesn't matter. Jordan Belfort: [after shipwreck] Jordan Belfort: Well, he got depressed and killed himself about three years later. Fuck you! The biggest IPO in this firm's history, what the fuck is he doing? Donnie Azoff: He's got a gun, you fucking idiot! [masturbates to Naomi] Good! Act as if you have unmatched experience and then people will follow your advice. We'll get broad-sided and tip over. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to The Most Anticipated TV & Streaming Shows of March 2023. But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you. Yeah. I'm a mutt. I don't care whose birthday it is. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. Why would You be so cruel as to use the king of Japanese restaurants to take me down? Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls? It is no matter. When you do something, you might fail. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, Act as if! Let me get that right. Yeah, my wife yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Jordan Belfort: You were calling her name in your sleep! It was a hefty sum, $5 million, and in truth it had little to do with setting them up. [All at once] I got a blinkling light because I don't have shit from you. The 3 keys to success in Straight Line Persuasion. Babe, why you doing it like that? All right, get the fuck off my boat. Right there? Because, I mean, fuckety fuck fuck, Jordan, look at this thing! The whole Donnie Azoff: Mommy, have you ever noticed anything odd about Mr. Cause I can't keep track of your professions honey! Bo Dietl: Jordan Belfort: Its a place for killers. Donnie Azoff: I just came. Read critic reviews. Jordan Belfort: Refresh and try again. When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified. Huh? Brad: It's fucked up. Give me one for the nerves! The name of the company, Aerotyne International. Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now you're an aspiring landscape architect, Isn't that right? There were certain things that you just didnt joke about; it was simply bad luck. This is my home! And I choose rich every fucking time. The Quaalude, or lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor - that's dots, not feathers - as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. Jordan, it's fucking good, right? The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance. Pick up the phone and start dialing! Its a woozie. Jordan Belfort: I'm talking about this. Jordan Belfort: [when asked who is Captain Ahab] Wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it? I was hooked in seconds. Mark Hanna: Brace yourself for an outrageous true story from legendary. Yeah. I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes. This Martin Scorsese hit film stars Leonardo Dicaprio, Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie in lead roles. Is he fucking crazy? Okay, great. Turns out I have so much information about the stock market and Wall Street I can save the government years of heartache. You called the captain the n-word. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven, here is one that is my absolute favorite. Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: When you get really good at it, youll fucking be stroking and youll be thinking about money. Mark Hanna, Her father is the brother of my mom. Jordan Belfort: That's right, I forgot. You're not fucking taking my children you vicious fucking cunt, you! The property is located 25 miles from the Belmont Racetrack, a horse racing facility. Patrick Denham: You're not fucking taking my fucking kids! And the problem with that is that your brain is like a computer: If you ask a question, it's programmed to respond, whether there's an answer or not. Patrick Denham: In the bedroom? Do you really think that I don't know what you're up to? Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: Some stuff about running drugs with Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana? I can get you beer if you want fuckin' beer. I don't understand. Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. The book, motherfucker, the book! Come for me. I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. Hold on! Jordan Belfort: My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys *or fucking dies!*. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. Its because you have not learnt enough. [to the waiter] Money. The captain tied you up, he almost fuckin' tasered you! ~ Jordan Belfort. What are your favorite Wolf of Wall Street quotes? We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. is an initial public offering. Just confirm how you got your ticket. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest. Mark Hanna: Ok, you're going to want to raise those numbers. Jordan Belfort: If anyone is gonna fuck my cousin it's gonna be me, out of out of respect, you know? Who? Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government. Why don't you do me a favor. Jordan Belfort: Robbie Feinberg ('Pinhead'): Brad: Jordan Belfort: Exactly. You're lookin' at me like I'm crazy. On new issue day? Come on, baby. 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye! Everybody on point! The Cerebral Palsy phase. Which is why you should pick up 5000 shares . Bulls. Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by . And you got the beautiful girls there. And particularly troublesome. If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation. Turns out all the FBI really wants from me is to cooperate. [Sees Jordan snorting cocaine] I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! It kind of wigs some people out. What do you mean you want a divorce? Sell me this pen! And you brought in all the sides Tell him about the sides. Trust me. No, there's no alcohol. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. That's right. Let's go the other fucking way! Look, I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? Once in the morning, right after I work out. Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Get the ludes downstairs! Thats who youre gonna be sitting next to! Jordan Belfort, You be ferocious, you be relentless, you be telephone fucking terrorists Jordan Belfort, Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up! Agent Patrick Denham, Im not fucking leaving! Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: What a greek tragedy! Jordan Belfort: Because I can't keep track of your professions, honey. What the fuck are you talking about? Jordan Belfort: Tell me. Naomi and I got along. Holy fucking shit Jordan Belfort: Number one rule of Wall Street. He thinks you're fuckin' Gordon Gekko. If you don't, you will fall out of balance, split your differential and tip the fuck over. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. Gotta pump those numbers up. Jordan Belfort: Jean Jacques Saurel: This is not a tip, this is a prescription. Oh, my God. In fact, she's decided to throw them all away. Belfort was played by Leonardo DiCaprio in the film . So there's a silver lining to that too, honey. It's three feet of water down there. Donnie. What, if the kid's retarded? Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. Jordan Belfort: [Sees a young broker cleaning his fishbowl] Theyre called telephones. I felt horrible. Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club. [Approaches the guy] He's just warning everybody. You're a fucking pill dealer. She designs women's panties too? Right! Your hair looks good. Donnie Azoff: Guys with sales experience. But pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just fifteen minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Good! Go at it. Is she like, a first cousin? 40 Alfred Adler Quotes That Will Make You Reflect. Donnie Azoff: Donnie. You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? Failure is your friend. Jordan Belfort, If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something its the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right? Jordan Belfort, Ive got the guts to die. [Furious about newspaper article] Yeah. Absolutely not but we were making more money then we knew what to do with. Jordan Belfort, There is no such thing as bad publicity. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. It took 90 minutes for these fuckers to kick in but once they did, *pow. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my back pain, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine Well, because its awesome. Jordan Belfort, There are two keys to success in the broker business; first of all you gotta stay relaxed, secondly you gotta always get stay high. Mark Hanna, Fugayzi, fugazi. Jordan Belfort: The porterhouse from Argentina. Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed. Donnie Azoff: Who? BENI-FUCKING-HANA? Think about it. [throwing money at the FBI agents] Captain Ted Beecham: Brad, show them how it's done. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. I am not gonna die sober! Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Right? That's not why I do it. The movie, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort was, in my opinion, a masterpiece by director Martin Scorsese. Her name was Pam and to her credit, she did have this amazing technique with this wild twisting jerk motion. Hey, everybody, listen up! And you're still acting like an infant! Mark Hanna, One thing I can promise you is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners, I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. Jordan Belfort, Just like that I made two grand, the other guys looked at me like I just discovered fire. Jordan Belfort, You know, just people say s**t. I dont even know. The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. You gotta stay relaxed. People have been buzzing about Martin Scorsese's new movie, "The Wolf of . Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. Because sometime in the not-so-distant future, you're gonna be pulling up at a red light, in your beat-up old fucking Pinto, and that person's gonna be pulling up right alongside you in their brand new Porsche. Asking specific questions to gather intelligence and to understand the customers needs. Naomi Lapaglia: Chester, who sold tires and weed. Naomi Lapaglia: By the early 1990s, while still in his 20s, Belfort founds his own firm, Stratton Oakmont. Second key to success in this racket is this little baby right here. What are these sides? Jordan Belfort: My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan! Don't try to fight it. I'm sure every person has this; it's just that my monologue is particularly loud. Mark Hanna: Married people can't have friends? Like, um, three or four. [Donnie haphazardly gets out from car] This is our golden ticket to the fuckin' Chocolate Factory, right here. Oh, Jesus Christ. Did you just try to kiss me, bro? GODDAMN IT! With their beautiful wife by their side, who's got big voluptuous tits. You have to excuse my friend. Its not fucking real. Mark Hanna, Gotta pump those numbers up. So boring. Jordan Belfort: Wow. They usually cost a hundred dollars or less, and if you didnt wear a condom, youd get a penicillin shot the next day and then pray that your dick didnt fall off. Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer and they have to fucking [picks up the phone, then calmly, in a transatlantic accent]. So, Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right? Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: FBI! Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: No, they're not retarded or anything like that Jordan Belfort: Because I want you to come for me, baby. Jordan Belfort: I don't even listen to it half the time. It wasn't even a choice. Naomi Lapaglia: I'll do four grand. Right? I love it. I understand perfectly, you American shit. Perfect Hildy Azoff: Out of respect. Donnie Azoff, Look, man a lot of having a kid or whatever takes risk, whether youre fuckin cousins or not, you know Donnie Azoff, Well, basically, you know, if the kid was retarded I would I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it say Youre free now! You know? lastly it's down to the humour. We call the Verrazano's Bridge the Guinea Gangplank. And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of fucking America! Hey, John. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and Im not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. Nicky Koskoff: That's the fuckin' point. My name is Jordan Belfort. It was obscene, in the normal world. She's a classy lady. Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Jordan Belfort: Me, I jack it 12-15 times a week. The real question is this: was all this legal? Jordan Belfort: Maybe sell the house. You gotta be a fucking pal You know what, I'm gonna give you a fucking pass, just give me the case. We don't start dialing at 9:30, because our clients are already answering the phone! Brad: Okay? He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know. Jordan Belfort: Pound for pound theyre stronger than grizzly bears, and, if you want to know the truth, they happen to scare the living shit out of me. Chester Ming: I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff: Champagne. Donnie Azoff: After 15 years in storage, the lemmons had developed a delayed fuse. Privacy Policy Can fucking sell anything. Something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki, you know the founder of Benihanna. Across the Verrazano's Bridge. And today, you needed to clean your fishbowl, today? Her pussy was like heroin to me. Fuck you! Who is the one who flew in here at 3:00 in the morning on their stupid helicopter and woke up Skylar? That is fucked up! Okay? That's right! By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. I just, I had a minute and I Donnie Azoff: Patrick Denham: All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. Im gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. Jordan Belfort: My killers, my killers who will not take no for an answer.
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